Suburban Spy

Spying can be a Good Thing

2009-10-18T19:51:00.000-07:00

I found Goody two Shoes daughter living at the woman's shelter in town with her son during the past week. I had a long talk with the woman running the place and another long talk with Goody Two Shoes' daughter. As it turns out the worst drug she has ever done was Pot (and I don't consider that a drug even worth being illegal). Her teeth are rotten because she is mal nurished, not because she is smoking horrible teeth decaying drugs.

I went and talked to some friends I have stayed close with at 911 and prepared them for the girl that was going to walk into the door. I did not want them to assume that just because her teeth were rotten and she was impossibly skinny that she was a drug addict. She passed a "hair" drug test and they hired her a few days later. Being a 911 operator can be stressful but its really good pay for this area, they offer her flexible hours, and she can get a pension if she keeps it.

See, spying can be a good thing.

Goody Two Shoes is a Horrible Mother!!!!

2009-10-04T19:23:00.000-07:00

I have had the flu which is why I have not made any posts lately. I've also been fighting off a bout of depression these past few days. Depression is something I have struggled with before. I am determined not to let it take over again. I have noticed a lack of interest in things I used to enjoy or should still be enjoying. If it continues I will start taking medication again.

On the spy front my goody two shoes neighbor who attends church twice a week and who's husband smokes pot while surfing porn in there home office had a secret exposed this weekend. It seems she has an adult daughter from a prior marriage. A daughter who is now 25 years old and who spent the early part of her twenties working as a stripper. She just lost what would have been a very lucrative job after having just recovered from being homeless and shacking up with any man willing to put a roof over her head. It seems once she got on her feet she became determined to fall off of them again.

Goody Two Shoes' daughter showed up in an old car with worn red paint and a front end that looked to be half hanging off. The 25 year old girl was bone thin with breathtaking blond hair all the way to her waist and a mouth full of rotten stubs where her teeth used to be. She arrived with her personal belongings in garbage bags in the back seat and had a beautiful little boy who may have been 5 with curly chestnut hair and big blue eyes with her. I'm assuming it was her son.

The two fought and argued on the front lawn in front of the entire neighborhood. Goody Two Shoes current husband tried several times to interrupt his wife as she shouted horrible things to the poor girl who finally got back into her car and left in tears.

I used my super ears to listen in on the conversation Goody Two Shoes had with her husband in the back yard later. Her husband criticized her for treating her daughter so badly and tried to convince her that she could have stayed in there spare room. She hushed him by insisting that her daughter would have tried to seduce him the same way she tried to seduce her own father.

No wonder her daughter has been so messed up. First she was sexually abused by her father and then blamed for it by her mother.

By the way if you want to see some ridiculously huge boobs.

Being forced to Watch Reruns

2009-09-23T20:39:00.000-07:00

No one is reading this blog are they. I have a few hits down there on that little Earth Counter but that's it. I am lying in bed writing this tonight being forced to watch the movie "The Net" again. I was watching Romancing the Stone. If I am going to be forced to watch a movie I have seen a dozen times I would much rather watch Romancing the stone which at least was a good movie.

Nothing new on Spying on the neighborhood other than the teenage twins behind me sneaking out at 5am to smoke pot. Some of the stay at home moms seem to be trying to work there magic on the construction workers two blocks over. Maybe I should invite everyone over for a luncheon or something and get to know everyone so I could have a little bit more information for my surveillance. I have a book in there on entertaining that my Mother in Law bought me when she found out I was marrying her son.

My husband has been talked into going to bike week in Fayettville this weekend and is begging me to get off work early on Friday so we can ride up there in the evening. I guess that would be better than getting up early, riding all morning, and being tired all day while were there Saturday. Our friends asked us to stay with them in there RV.

I'm Sick but I'm still Spying.

2009-09-21T21:40:00.000-07:00

I had some kind of really weird illness yesterday. It hit me all of a sudden. My stomach got horrible and crampy and I got a 102 fever. The fever was gone by morning but my stomach has remained crampy and sore. I haven't had the energy for very much spying today but I did climb onto the roof this afternoon to spy on the construction site a street over. The roof is a great place for spying. I can see so much more up there and people don't notice me as much either.

Anyway, I couldn't help but notice a few of the other stay at home moms making it a point to pass by the construction site as if they were trying to get there attention and at least one made it a point to go over and strike up a conversation with them. I should get license plate numbers and see if I can find some of there vehicles parked in front of a few of the local homes while the husbands are away.

The Teenage Twins Living behind us Aren't Perfect!!!

2009-09-20T04:07:00.000-07:00

Its been kind of a busy week on this end so I haven't had much time for any writing. The baby had me up at 5 am this morning and I couldn't get back to sleep. I will be so glad when she is sleeping normal hours. I did notice some movement behind our privacy fence this morning where the perfect teenagers live and couldn't help put pull out the night vision binoculars. The teenage twins were out in the backyard sharing a joint in there pajamas. I can't help but wonder what had them up at 5 am on a Sunday morning. Surely they didn't wake up that early for the soul purpose of having a joint in the backyard.

My dance pole did come in. I had it up in the living room when my Mother-In-Law showed up to visit the baby (notice I said the baby and not me, she is such a hag). She was of course horrified, instantly asking if we needed money. I showed her the video I found on you tube and she was not nearly as impressed as I was. She had to ask all kinds of questions like (please tell me your going to stop this nonsense when the baby gets older). I should have told her I was thinking about making a career of it.

I want to learn to pole dance

2009-09-15T23:41:00.000-07:00

I found this video on youtube tonight and its truly amazing. I have already spent the 400 dollars to get a dance pole. I did some research and she is using a pole that spins, thats how she is able to do all of that spinning in this video. Knowing that doesn't make it seem nearly as hard. I could just imagine that pole really tearing up the skin on my palms and between my legs but if the pole is spinning that won't be a problem.

This is truly beautiful to watch though and I would love to learn how to do this. It looks like awesome exercise and it might even turn my husband on a little bit.

Speaking of being turned on, the hot tub at the hotel in Hot Springs gave me a yeast infection. I am sure that's what it was because we had sex in it. I should have known that the water didn't have enough chemicals in it. It didn't seem to be bubbling up near enough.

A weekend at the biker rally

2009-09-14T06:40:00.000-07:00

Hubby and I spent the weekend in Hot Springs Arkansas at the Biker Rally. Were not real bikers. He spends more time polishing that thing than we spend riding it. I still had a good time though. we got a baby sitter for the weekend and we spent loads of time in the pool and the hot tub at the condo we rented. It had a view of the lake and we spent time relaxing there. We ate out for all three meals a day and even bought a few thinks at the rally where they had all of the booth set up. My husband is thinking of signing up for the local BACA chapter which is bikers against child abuse. They made it clear in the meeting we attended that there looking for "real" bikers. My husband is a computer salesman and owns a little part time security company with a few part time employees. He spends more time polishing the bike than he does riding it. Well, I'll give everyone an update on my spying activities after it quit raining.

Nothing new today

2009-09-06T19:00:00.001-07:00

This morning I had coffee on the upper deck while peering down into the back yard of the house behind me. Everyone slept late, no one left the house early. So much for early morning surveillance. I loaded up the baby and put the mutt on a leash and then hit the road to walk past that big house on the corner. They weren't home. I guess they went to church. Boring, boring , boring.

We did find an afternoon baby sitter for a few hours and went out on the motorcycle. We visited some friends out in the country that have recently purchased a cute little cabin in the woods. Its going to be a nice place after a whole lot of work. There is a nice year round stream next to it. No one to really spy on though.

Then we went to my sisters for a Barbecue and heard a delightfully funny story about my brother-in-law running over "himself". Maybe something good will happen tomorrow.

Yeah Baby, The Spy is Back!!!

2009-09-05T09:39:00.001-07:00

Yippee the spy is back after loosing the email address that was designed to self destruct to set up the blog and then loosing it. Oh well, shit happens. Especially when you a Suburban Spy. Fortunately I only had two posts on it before I lost it. So far in my adventures as a spy I have learned that my goody two shoes next door neighbors on the left is a secret pot smoker and porn surfer. The neighbors behind me have two seemingly perfect teenagers. A boy and a girl. There twins and there just two damn perfect in there little preppy clothes always helping there parents around the house without argument and having nice quiet family barbecues in t back yard. I know there up to something. The question is what? Then there are the people in the big house down the street I have been watching. They live in a house thats really way to pricey for a neighborhood like this and they drive two sleek new Mercedes and do not appear to have jobs. They might work at home. I suspect that work at home might include cooking or growing something illegal in the basement. This is not California, its not legal here. I wish it was legal. I'd be growing it in the backyard if it were.